Annabel Clark

Photographer

The Uncounted

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Location: Seattle & NYC

Nationality: American

Biography: Annabel Clark is a documentary and portrait photographer based in Seattle and New York City. Born and raised in California, she received her BFA in Photography from Parsons School of Design. During her final term at Parsons, she photographed her... MORE

Bill and Christine Koch were wo...illed herself. For CNN Digital

Bill and Christine Koch were wounded twice by war. A suicide bomber killed their 23-year-old son Steven, an Army corporal, in Afghanistan in 2008. Two years later, their daughter Lynne, unable to cope with the loss of her brother, killed herself.
For CNN Digital

Lynne Kochs grave at Holy Cross... Steven." For CNN Digital

Lynne Kochs grave at Holy Cross Burial Park. "As a parent, its your job to protect your children. You do everything you can. We couldnt protect Steven in a dangerous place. And Lynne, we tried to reach her. She was just too lost without Steven."
For CNN Digital

Christine and Bill have been ma... he tells her. For CNN Digital

Christine and Bill have been married 35 years. Losing two children could break a marriage, but the Kochs are gentle with each other. They understand their differences. Christine would like Bill to talk more about his feelings. But he says he prefers to "keep that door shut." If he opens it, the sorrow might not stop. And he worries that would only hurt her more. "I dont want you to have to take that," he tells her.
For CNN Digital

Bill and Christine drive home f...s it too hard. For CNN Digital

Bill and Christine drive home from Lynnes grave. Bill visits the grave often, but Christine finds it too hard.
For CNN Digital

The Kochs have another son, Bil...he front door. For CNN Digital

The Kochs have another son, Bill Jr., pictured in the center. Bill Jr. was working near the World Trade Center in New York on 9/11. Steven enlisted, partly, to "bully the guys who bullied his brother," their father said. Bill and Christine learned of both Steven and Lynnes deaths at the front door.
For CNN Digital

At the Kochs home in Milltown, ...ng home." For CNN Digital

At the Kochs home in Milltown, New Jersey, Lynnes old room is mostly untouched. Christine often wears her daughters clothes. The first sure sign that Lynne was in serious trouble came shortly after Steven died and Christine asked her to help with a dedication. On the phone, Lynne told her mom: "You know, Mom, you need help. Steven is in Afghanistan, and Im waiting for him to come home." Shortly before she committed suicide, Lynne wrote her mom an e-mail: "Mommy, Ive come to the realization that hes gone and not coming home."
For CNN Digital

In the Kochs backyard, next to ... the infantry. For CNN Digital

In the Kochs backyard, next to a statue of Mary, is a memorial to the family dog Keiser, Lynnes favorite. The blue sign is a symbol of the infantry.
For CNN Digital

Christine wears a diamond neckl...Lynnes shirts. For CNN Digital

Christine wears a diamond necklace that belonged to her daughter. Before Lynne killed herself, she laid the jewelry out with instructions to be buried in it. But Christine couldnt bear that. "I consider Lynnes necklace a dog tag," she says, and she often wears it along with Stevens dog tags.She also wears one of Lynnes shirts.
For CNN Digital

Bill and Christine dont celebra...usually there. For CNN Digital

Bill and Christine dont celebrate Christmas or their birthdays anymore. They stopped going to Thanksgiving get-togethers. It feels awkward, like nobody knows what to say to them. It upsets them to see parents with their children. Lynne worked at Chilis in high school, so if they go out, its usually there.
For CNN Digital

Steven, Lynne and Bill Jr. were... of you." For CNN Digital

Steven, Lynne and Bill Jr. were very close growing up. Steven and Bill Jr. played sports; Lynne was a cheerleader. Steven was especially rambunctious, but he grew up a lot as he neared the end of high school. When he was 18, he wrote this Christmas card to his parents. In the section to his father, he wrote: "I am very grateful to be blessed with such great parents. I dont know where I would be without the two of you."
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For visitors, the Kochs house c...ne sits there. For CNN Digital

For visitors, the Kochs house can feel overwhelming. Its a memorial. Stevens favorite chair is draped with a quilt a friend made with pictures of him and his sister. No one sits there.
For CNN Digital

Bill has trouble sleeping and u...me more." For CNN Digital

Bill has trouble sleeping and usually gets up and goes to the couch, where hell write poetry about his son and daughter on his laptop. Writing has become a release. He has self-published several books of verse. "Ive tried to talk to a therapist, but this is what helps me more."
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"That hourly, day-to-day, ... sleeps." For CNN Digital

"That hourly, day-to-day, stress is hidden behind a facade of being alright or going to work or talking to people," Bill said. "You carry that weight with you at all times. Sorrow never sleeps."
For CNN Digital

Christine struggles to get out ... either." For CNN Digital

Christine struggles to get out of bed in the mornings. Both she and Bill have considered ending their lives. "Theres some days that I can really fall down," Christine said, "and think of what Lynne did and think, My God, I cant do this anymore either."
For CNN Digital

Lynnes makeup lies out in her o... friend." For CNN Digital

Lynnes makeup lies out in her old room as it has since her death.In the morning, Christine puts on her makeup in Lynnes old room, where she says the light is the best in the house. They liked to get their nails done and shop together. "I always wanted her opinion," Christine said, "and shed ask for mine. She was my best friend."
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Christine gets ready for church...ing the house. For CNN Digital

Christine gets ready for church. No matter how hard it is to get out of bed, she always does her hair and makeup before leaving the house.
For CNN Digital

Christine goes to Our Lady of L...rengthened it. For CNN Digital

Christine goes to Our Lady of Lourdes in Milltown, New Jersey. Their sons death and daughters suicide havent caused them to doubt their faith; their loss has only strengthened it.
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There is a community of people ...brother." For CNN Digital

There is a community of people who have lost loved ones at war who connect mostly online. One of those people heard about Lynnes suicide and made the family two purple hearts. Lynnes heart notes that she went "above and beyond the call towards her brother."
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Christine watches Sunday footba...y win or lose. For CNN Digital

Christine watches Sunday football. Christine supports the Philadelphia Eagles and says that watching football is the only thing that makes her happy. She says her mood depends on whether they win or lose.
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"Gold Star Family" fl...l ostracizing. For CNN Digital

"Gold Star Family" flags hang in the windows of the Koch home. These signify that a family has lost a service member. There is nothing Bill is prouder of than his sons bravery. He wants people to understand that. But the flags seem to make some people uncomfortable, he says. Being a Gold Star Family can feel ostracizing.
For CNN Digital