Spencer Worthley

Filmmaker/photographer

No Lies, Just Love

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Location: Los Angeles

Nationality: American

Biography: Spencer Worthley is a documentary filmmaker/photographer based in Brooklyn, NY. A graduate of both the Salt Institute for Documentary Studies and the New Hampshire Institute of Art, he uses aspects of both veins of image-making to heighten... MORE

Joshua A. Callaghan, September... courtesty of Holly McCarthy.)

Joshua A. Callaghan, September 26, 1988 - October 16, 2009 (Photograph courtesty of Holly McCarthy.)

The morning of Josh's dea...n by Josh's friend Sammy.

The morning of Josh's death, friends fathered to write farewell messages aside a mural drawn by Josh's friend Sammy.

"I'm really greatful...oy you." -Angela Bartlett

"I'm really greatful that I got to know him for a moment. And those moments are the beautiful parts of this life... and I'm really greatful that he's at peace now. I've come to terms with death, in my own ways, a long time ago, and I know it's a beautiful place to be. The most important thing about experiencing a death is to be support the people that are still alive, that knew that person. And to continue to live, rather than let it destroy you." -Angela Bartlett

"I just feel like if I to... wanted." -Heather Forest

"I just feel like if I told him I knew how he felt, how every day was hard, that he wasn't by himself in all this, then maybe he would still be here. But I can't sit here and blame myself, you know? It's what he wanted." -Heather Forest

Friends Heather Forest and Samm... drew, the day after his death.

Friends Heather Forest and Sammy Johnson lay flowers on the mural that Sammy drew, the day after his death.

"I'm sure we all wis... demons." -Wendy Demambro

"I'm sure we all wish we could have done something or been there for him more than we were. I don't think it's anyone's fault, I think he was just battling so many demons." -Wendy Demambro

Friends gather some time aroun... hometown in central New York.

Friends gather some time around 3am, the morning of the funeral, before beginning the seven hour drive to Josh's hometown in central New York.

The night after the funeral, J...she is ready for her portrait.

The night after the funeral, Josh's previous girlfriend, Tina, calls to say she is ready for her portrait.

On her way to class one mornin... a big thing." -Tina Guay

On her way to class one morning, "I feel like more people are going on witht their every day life and I still expect a text message, or a phone call, and I'm not going to ever get that again and it just sucks. I think that's why it hasn't settled for me, because it's just such a big thing." -Tina Guay

Josh's belongings remain ...rly one month after his death.

Josh's belongings remain untouched in the ceramics studio, nearly one month after his death.

Amy Bettencourt prepares to pa...ee now." -Amy Bettencourt

Amy Bettencourt prepares to pack the unfinished work Josh left behind at school.

"I feel like there's so much I could say to him at this point, you know what I mean? But I think if I could have said one thing, it would be even though we only had a short time together, I enjoyed every minute, and I am happy he is free now." -Amy Bettencourt

Tine takes her first look at J...ed the word "loved".

Tine takes her first look at Josh's unfinished work. Here she holds a bust of his face into which he carved the word "loved".

Only weeks after Josh's d...9;s mural is all that remains.

Only weeks after Josh's death, the cahrcoal outline of Sammy's mural is all that remains.

"I'm just proud of t...my heart." -Sammy Johnson

"I'm just proud of the times we had and how he just always made people laugh and enjoy life... and that will continue, just the memories that we have with him as friends. We all have our ups and downs, but he was just close to my heart." -Sammy Johnson

On the one month anniversary o...hich he then proceeds to bury.

On the one month anniversary of Josh's death, Sammy comes across a squirrel hit by a car, which he then proceeds to bury.

"Josh was just an excelle... a way..." -Sammy Johnson

"Josh was just an excellent friend, an excellent guy, and he hadÂ just such creative insight. He was an amazing artist and I wish he continued that passion. He's just going to be really greatly missed by a lot of people.

"It's just hard to think how he went--Â the fact of just being there as a friend, knowing his struggles and not being able to help in a way..." -Sammy Johnson

Sammy and Josh's friend M...bar, sharing memories of Josh.

Sammy and Josh's friend Mike gather at a bar, sharing memories of Josh.

Following Josh's death, M...layÂ with his friend Michelle.

Following Josh's death, Mike's English course was assigned Romeo and Juliet, which he is dreading finishing, as he already knows the ending. Here, Michael takes a break from reading the playÂ with his friend Michelle.

"I want him to be around....s eyes." -Michael Beasley

"I want him to be around. And I know the decision he made and what happened was his choice and I have to accept that. I think the biggest thing is I just want to tell him I love him once more and hear that fucking laugh of his. And see his eyes." -Michael Beasley

"Josh was suchÂ an intere...ou can." -Nicholas Curcio

"Josh was suchÂ an interesting being. It kinda sucks cause you could tell from when you first met him that he was just not a happy camper, and I think he had been unhappy for a long time. I remember one time I found him in his room and there was just blood everywhere... crap, that sucked.

"I just hope he's happy wherever he is and I just miss him and wish I could have talked to him one last time, but you take what you have and make it the best you can." -Nicholas Curcio

Tina and her friends begin to ... for a friend's birthday.

Tina and her friends begin to go on with their social lives, heading out for a friend's birthday.

After hours of convincing peop...rom the crowd, now despondent.

After hours of convincing people to dance with her to Josh's favorite songs, Tina sits away from the crowd, now despondent.

"I really miss you and I ...at right now." -Tina Guay

"I really miss you and I really wish that I could have said goodbye to you in a better way, but I can't change that. And I really wish that you would've talked to me more about everything that was going on with you, because I feel like I might have been able to help you more, but I don't know if that's the truth... I think everybody thinks that right now." -Tina Guay

Tina's roommate and class... of care and support for Tina.

Tina's roommate and classmate of Josh, Liz, has been a constant center of care and support for Tina.

"I mean when it comes dow...y are gone." -Liz Johnson

"I mean when it comes down to love, I think he knew the most of love than anybody. He might now have shown it, he might not have said it, I mean the way he expressed it was so deep, so full-hearted, so... just feeling.

"And I've cried so much about this and he's probably looking back being like, 'Don't cry about it!' Why would you cry about something like this? He did what he wanted to do, you know? And no matter what decisions we make we can accept our friends for who they are. Even if they are gone." -Liz Johnson

Tina drives to her family'... first times he saw the ocean.

Tina drives to her family's beach house, where she took Josh on one of the first times he saw the ocean.

"I remember when I brough...and a person." -Tina Guay

"I remember when I brought him to the beach, it was one of his first times being there, and all he could think about when he saw the rocks there were different glazes for his ceramic pieces... he was wicked inspired by it. It was just really cool to see how he liked to realte everything to ceramics. He was just so passionate about his work and I always appreciated that about him, as an artist and a person." -Tina Guay

After months of near-silence, ...oward her usual, playful self.

After months of near-silence, Tina slowly begins a return toward her usual, playful self.

One night, during Josh and I&#...taneously wrote upon the wall.

One night, during Josh and I's freshman year, we snuck onto the roof of our dorm, where he spontaneously wrote upon the wall.

The same wall, nearly two years later.

A journal entry from the one y...iversary of Josh's death.

A journal entry from the one year anniversary of Josh's death.

PLAY

STOP

GRID

FULL

LOVE

Thumbnail of Joshua A. Callaghan, September _h courtesty of Holly McCarthy.)

Thumbnail of The morning of Josh's deat_wn by Josh's friend Sammy.

Thumbnail of "I'm really greatful _roy you." -Angela Bartlett

Thumbnail of "I just feel like if I tol_e wanted." -Heather Forest

Thumbnail of Friends Heather Forest and Sammy_y drew, the day after his death.

Thumbnail of "I'm sure we all wish_y demons." -Wendy Demambro

Thumbnail of Friends gather some time around_s hometown in central New York.

Thumbnail of The night after the funeral, Jo_ she is ready for her portrait.

Thumbnail of On her way to class one morning_h a big thing." -Tina Guay

Thumbnail of Josh's belongings remain u_arly one month after his death.

Thumbnail of Amy Bettencourt prepares to pac_ree now." -Amy Bettencourt

Thumbnail of Tine takes her first look at Jo_ved the word "loved".

Thumbnail of Only weeks after Josh's de_39;s mural is all that remains.

Thumbnail of "I'm just proud of th_ my heart." -Sammy Johnson

Thumbnail of On the one month anniversary of_which he then proceeds to bury.

Thumbnail of "Josh was just an excellen_n a way..." -Sammy Johnson

Thumbnail of Sammy and Josh's friend Mi_ bar, sharing memories of Josh.

Thumbnail of Following Josh's death, Mi_playÂ with his friend Michelle.

Thumbnail of "I want him to be around. _is eyes." -Michael Beasley

Thumbnail of "Josh was suchÂ an interes_you can." -Nicholas Curcio

Thumbnail of Tina and her friends begin to g_t for a friend's birthday.

Thumbnail of After hours of convincing peopl_from the crowd, now despondent.

Thumbnail of "I really miss you and I r_hat right now." -Tina Guay

Thumbnail of Tina's roommate and classm_r of care and support for Tina.

Thumbnail of "I mean when it comes down_ey are gone." -Liz Johnson

Thumbnail of Tina drives to her family'_e first times he saw the ocean.

Thumbnail of "I remember when I brought_ and a person." -Tina Guay

Thumbnail of After months of near-silence, T_toward her usual, playful self.

Thumbnail of One night, during Josh and I�_ntaneously wrote upon the wall.

Thumbnail of The same wall, nearly two years later.

Thumbnail of A journal entry from the one ye_niversary of Josh's death.

Public Story

No Lies, Just Love

Updated Jan 2011

No Lies, Just Love

Josh Callaghan took his own life early one morning in October. After receiving word of his death, my world was turned upside-down - a feeling shared throughout our community of friends.

Naturally, I returned to Manchester, NH, where we had attended art school, to be with my closest friends. As a response, I began photographing all of our experiences - our moments of grief and growth - to come to terms with this tragedy. I continued doing so as a way to hold onto whatever pieces left of Josh that I could.

Click here to see the accompanying multimedia piece.