Public Story
Something watching You
Published on The New York Times Lens Blog 2nd March, 2019
Somewhere between dream and reality, what I experienced. Those nights are more than a nightmare! Grew up in a middle-class family at Andul, West Bengal, India. Loneliness around me is a part of my life since my childhood. My dad always be in outstation due to professional reason. My mom remains busy with my little brother and handling households. I was nine when my brother was born. Then I left in a room with lot of books, pens, colors and a blank canvas of loneliness. I remember the night during my college days, I fall asleep so hard. I think the incident happened to me between 2 to 3 am. I need help, wanted to scream, but I could not. I saw that but was unable to move. It was so terrible night I had. Even I could not sleep at night for couple of weeks after that incident. It was so horrified feelings that I cannot express in a word. In the year 2017, again it happened to me, but in a different manner. I was not scared this time but felt assaulting by something, which I could not see! It was horrible in its own way. Every time I feel, am I going to die? Or it's just a dream!! Something pressing on my chest that I couldn't breathe and about to die may be! Hallucinating so much, like some evil was continuously looking at me. Sometimes divine and lift me off from the bed. It was supernatural, which I could feel but was unable to see. After that hilarious period when I could be able to move, I was still scared as I felt if I turn on the light, I could be able to see some evil, which may kill me! Sometimes, after the incident I slept again, but most of the time I ran away to my mother's bedroom. Then again, I spent sleepless night for couple of weeks. I started to research a lot from the year 2016 and came to know that it is called Sleep paralysis, and many people experienced the similar kind of incident. Thinking to express that feeling through my photographs, I started capturing pictures from real world what is similar to my experience on sleep paralysis. I believe, I will be able to make understand people who don't know about this and who know but have no experience of that. In many cases, I experienced a disbelief of this incident, when I informed people about the incident happened to me. Hope, my project would be an illuminative feat for the society.
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