Public Story
Has Godot Arrived?
Has Godot Arrived?
September, 2021
In Samuel Beckett's existentialist play, ”Waiting for Godot," two vagabonds wait at the side of a road for a long time. They are waiting intently because they have much at stake. They are waiting in the hope that when Godot finally arrives, his presence will repair personal shortcomings and thus, make their lives whole. Of course, Godot never shows up.
During President Obama's eight years in office, many Americans also appeared to be Waiting for Godot. This version of Godot, though, finally arrived. And once arrived, doesn’t appear to want to leave.
The first time I passed Tommy's house in the Shenandoah Valley, I couldn't believe what I saw. Big, colorful homemade Trump signs littered his yard and adorned the sides of his dilapidated house. Once, when I stopped my car to take photos, he yelled from a distance, asking if I were a Trump lover too. I peeled away, fearing his mental state. Two years later, and countless trips past his house, I read in the news there was a fire in his home. On my next trip, I stopped by the nearby gas station and bought some fried chicken for him. Since then, I've visited him many times. And through our interactions, I've tried to understand why he loves Trump. And by that, I hoped to understand why anyone would be Waiting for Trump.
In one of our first conversations, I got a hint that it was more than Tommy simply agreeing with Trump's politics. I asked him why he loved Trump so much and he replied the love started a long time ago. When I inquired further, Tommy said, "because I thought he was cool. He was a playboy and everything he touched turned to fucking gold."
In another candid conversation, Tommy told me that people thought he was a racist. "I'm not a racist, it's white people that scare me." I started viewing Tommy with more interest after that, enjoying his wit and intelligence. And yet, several times after, I've heard Tommy make disparaging racist remarks that I know he doesn't mean; perhaps, just expressing unfiltered personal frustrations. I saw there were many different, complicated sides to him.
Tommy is not happy with me for saying this but I think it says a lot about his strength of character. He was addicted to Oxycontin, having started the drug after a botched surgery. Sixteen years later, he decided to kick the habit and filled his freezer with frozen food and spent most of the next 30 days on the floor, close to the bathroom.
He's lived in his Shenandoah house since 2002, when his wife "exiled me here." Years later, the day Trump infamously rode down the escalator to announce his candidacy for president, Tommy enthusiastically decorated the side of his house with his first hand painted sign that read, "Lock her up!" Suddenly, Tommy was getting a lot of attention. People honked their horns and waved as they drove past. Sometimes, they stopped to talk. Before getting kicked off of Facebook, he live streamed from his front yard. Several times I’ve heard Tommy express disbelief in his living situation. He once told me that he created his “own world out here, otherwise, I would go fucking insane."
I used to think it was rather simple; people supported Trump because they let their racist tendencies out of the box. But I have learned there’s probably more to it. In the same way the two vagabonds projected on Godot to give meaning and purpose to their lives, some people are projecting on Trump. They have attached themselves to Trump to compensate for things they see lacking in themselves. Trump’s (false) bravado and brash style creates an illusion of strength. And, perhaps, they attach themselves to his anger and make it their own because those emotions relieve them from the boredom and loneliness of their daily lives.
January 2022:
A few months have passed since I started working on this project and I dare say, we've become rather good friends. I enjoy the honesty and unfiltered rawness of our conversations. Recently, Tommy called me while I was on the street, walking to the metro station. He asked me where I was going. He asked me why I was always on the run, constantly doing things? He told me I was a complicated person and asked me, "what are you searching for?" It was an interesting twist. While some of us wait for someone, are others running from something?
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