for The New York Times: Parenting in Front of a Live Audience of In-laws by José A. Alvarado Jr.

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for The New York Times: Parenting in Front of a Live Audience of In-laws

josé a. alvarado jr.

Aug 28, 2020

Location: bath, pennsylvania

...During quarantine at your parents’, one minute you’re the 12-year-old who tears up when she perceives her mother’s dishwasher comment as passive-aggressive. The next you’re the 23-year-old who, after a glass of Marques de Riscal, thinks it’s a good idea to challenge her father’s political views. You’re the angsty 16-year-old who forgets that napkins go on the left, the one who envisions flipping the table upside down as she watches her father silently correct each place-setting. Sometimes, you’re the 4-year-old who wants to curl right back up on their laps. And then you’re the 37-year-old who finally understands that your time with them is limited.

Whether he knew it or not, my husband married all the me’s inside of me. And all of them, I’ve recently come to understand, have something rather troubling in common: They all crave my parents’ approval. I imagine this is also not terribly attractive.
Worse, every single quarantine marital scuffle we’ve had is linked, somehow, to my perception of my parents’ approval of my husband, too — which is really just about their approval of me...

A powerful and moving piece by Christen Madrazo. Photographed for The New York Times.
Parenting in Front of a Live Audience of In-laws
Micromanaging my husband, I realized how much I still craved my parents’ approval.

1,599

José A. Alvarado Jr.

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