Photographing dancers all thoughout NYC for a little under 3 years, I've noticed a definate shift within myself. As of late I am having more of what I call dancing dreams. These are the types of dreams dancers have when you actively dance for so many hours on end, process an incredible amount of choreography, all the while keeping up with and attending technique classes--all of that combines, and it spills into your dreams. It can simply consist of a series of turns that float and somehow go on forever, that are almost if not always accompanied by an euphiroic sensation--a high of sorts. It begins deep in the pit of your stomach and it radiates and flows thoughout the entire body. All though the limbs, into the very tips of your hands and feet. In actuality it is really only seconds long, but it feels like forever. As a dancer I used to also experience it in my waking hours. I lived for that feeling then, and I still do, to this very day, but the difference is that I now I experience it only in my dreams.
So today I wake up, and I search. To me, the search is absolutely vital. To live, to see what is out there..I wonder if there is something out there in the world that comes close to replicating that feeling.
The shift that I speak of, my intent is catch these dancers, at the precise moment they let go and lose themselves in dance all though my humble lens. Was it a gradual shift? Was it the result of a dream I had in the night?
Before this, I would focus more from afar. I mostly saw the lines they made over and over. The extention of their bodies and how boldly they take up and own all of the space in the room. I still shoot sometimes in this way. However more often than not, I crave the tiredness, even the soreness of the muscles. The way it feels to give your weight over to a partner and trust them enough to carry it for you. I observe more than I ever did before and with that--I move even closer.
Once I capture this, the more I want it for myself. It sounds selfish. Maybe it is. However it is me. It is genuine and something that I know can't be without. It's just as a dancer would understand.
In order to be pure, you must reveal all.